Feb 062013
Image source: kthread via Flickr.

Image source: kthread via Flickr.

On the 28th of January, | My neighbor was victim-ized by, | Scumbag thieves a-leaping, | Up fire escapes and piping, | Land lady’s sleeping, | Nine bass drums thumping, | Eight cleaning ladies cleaning, | Between 70th and, | 69th Street a crook made off with, | Two gold rings, | One lap top, | Three French hens, | Two turtle doves, and | A diamond engagement ring.

In details that resemble lyrics from the Twelve Days of Christmas, Brooklyn Paper’s Will Bredderman is reporting that a sticky-fingered slime bag stole thousands in jewelry and electronics from a 13th Avenue apartment on January 28.

The victim told police that he left his home, on 13th Avenue between 69th street and 70th street, at 9:30 am. After returning at 1:30 pm, he noticed the missing laptop and jewelery.

While neighbors said they heard nothing out of the ordinary, police found footprints leading to a fire escape in the building’s rear yard.

As the ad-libbed song lyrics indicate, stolen items include a wedding band, two gold rings, a diamond ring, a gold chain, gold bangles, and a laptop. [The French hens and turtle doves went mercifully unmolested].

The vicinity of 70th Street has seen a rash of break-ins via fire escape since the year began.